he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
