Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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