I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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