please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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