quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
MIDGETS
????
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
