Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
