WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Panties = found
Randomize
