Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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