Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
