Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
