yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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