is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
