...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
