do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
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