Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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