Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
