It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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