nut hugger
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
