i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
