Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
