Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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