Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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