I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
