this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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