lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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