How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
