I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
