It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
