Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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