I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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