Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
