i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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