I hope mine doesn't look like that
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
