Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
