maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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