yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
