What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
