Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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