when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
