Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
