Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
