Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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