guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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