i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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