Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
