I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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