two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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