What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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