please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
