i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
