even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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